Photo courtesy blogs.courant.com

First, I came across a wildly popular post from superblogger Jessica Knows, “A Call to Ambitious Women Entrepreneurs… Stop Apologizing.” In it, she points out a nasty habit so many of us have — apologizing for our successes, or for daring to promote ourselves. She urges women to join her in pledging to, well… just QUIT it — and instead celebrate our successes. Love this!

Then came social media maven Julie Roads’ take on the subject, “You have the right NOT to remain silent about how cool you are,” and her new, private Google group designed to be an interactive bragging “journal” of sorts for the women who belong to it. (I am a lucky new member who’s learning to proudly toot her own horn. Thanks, Julie!)

So, as a woman entrepreneur conditioned since birth not to EVER engage in the practice of bragging (except maybe in life-threatening emergencies or with your grandparents), I have to admit the idea made me darn uncomfortable at first. My initial “brag” to the Google group was tentative and a little self-conscious. But, judging by all the supportive, atta-girl networking that’s beginning to happen, I can already feel my brag-shackles beginning to loosen. (Uh-oh… look out!)

This process has also made me think about the art of bragging in business. (Turns out there IS a way to do it without alienating everyone you come in contact with!) Whether you’re networking to promote yourself, your products or services — in my opinion, it’s all in how (and when and where) you do it. Nuances.

1. Consider your audience. In our brag group, we’ve all promised to make it a safe, judgment-free place. Come to brag, and appreciate the brags of others without worry. It’s freeing, and it’s great! In real life, though — however much we may want to change this — it’s different. Whether it’s a colleague, client, Twitter friend or prospect, do you have a relationship with the person you’re speaking to? If not, take a little time to get to know him/her. Ask some questions, listen and respond to their answers. Let the conversation open the door for a little horn-tooting, rather than jimmying it open yourself and trumpeting right from the get-go.
2. Consider the situation. If you’re in the middle of a new business pitch or writing your new website, then by all means, brag away. Knock yourself out — it’s expected, and even necessary, as we all struggle to compete in a dog-eat-dog world. But if you run into a prospect while he’s enjoying a weekend excursion with his family (or Twittering with pals about the Super Bowl), think twice before launching into your most-bragalicious elevator speech.
3. Make it reciprocal. Appreciate that everyone has successes and talents to share. Find out what others do well, show them you’re genuinely interested and congratulate them on it. This is one of those “basics” that I think holds true across all forms of human interaction — from face-to-face yakety-yakking to the myriad online social networking vehicles now available to us.

Okay, maybe this list seems a little basic to you — and it is. But believe me, I have seen hoardes of people ignoring (or just ignorant of) these guidelines. My reaction to them? Unfollow, or end the conversation quickly and move on.

What do you think about bragging for business gain? How do you promote yourself with finesse, without turning people off?