She’s written two books on the subject (one of them commissioned by the American Bar Association), in addition to an excellent series of “Suit Yourself” essays that are available – for free – in the Forum section of her website. “I believe – and I was able to build a very successful legal and business career based on my belief – that we must do a better job of suiting ourselves,” says Debra. “We must develop self-awareness, articulate our priorities, stop mistaking outcomes for goals, and focus our time and energy on what matters most.”

In perusing her writings today with my own small business in mind, I was struck by the following passage from the essay titled, “It’s About Priorities, Not Time”:

Personal control is … a luxury that steals your time away from the high value-added tasks. The goal is to do and control personally only what cannot be done without the value you add, and to design and implement process and system to do and control the rest.  The fact that you can do something or even that you like to do it doesn’t mean you should do it. You’re looking to create time, and the way to do that is to stick to your highest and best use.

This makes me think about some of the small business owners I know — and how they can get caught up in the details of a routine task that doesn’t really require their particular skill set. Perhaps you know someone like this. Because they are owners (and they understandably take their work very seriously), they feel they must be intimately involved in everything that goes on in the business. I’ve seen the trickle-down effect of this behavior, too — how it robs others of the joy of doing their own jobs well, without someone peering over their shoulders all the time, questioning their every move.

More to the point: it drives employees CRAZY.

Not the best way to create a fulfilling, energizing work environment. Or inspire legions of raving employee-fans. Uh, how’s your employee turnover rate?

So… what do you think is your “highest and best use” as a small business owner? How much of your day is taken up by those tasks that simply can’t get done without your specific expertise? You’d hope that’s a fairly high number, of course — but in fact, the Small Business Administration reports that the average small business owner spends up to 40% of their time on routine administrative tasks.

Good food for thought.

Here’s where I, the ever-ready freelance copywriter and undisputed owner of this blog, get to swoop in (wearing my virtual hero cape) and say:

Hey, if writing for your business isn’t YOUR highest and best use — or if it just takes you too darn much time — give me a call.

I’d be happy to dive in and be part of your team.

Photo Credit: Stebbi/NateSteiner via Creative Commons

Godin makes the distinction between selling to strangers and selling to friends, saying that whom you’re targeting makes a huge difference in how you design and deliver your message. Agreed. You do have a much lower “hurdle” in targeting your friends, because they already know you and trust you. Plus, we all like doing business with people we know. But as Godin points out, you probably only have one free pass (in which your friend gives you the benefit of the doubt) to do it right.

I don’t think many people get it right. And I think it’s even harder to sell to your women friends.

I see people messing this up on Twitter and Facebook all the time — the incessant stream of stranger-oriented business propositions and opportunities passing by my eyes each day is mind-boggling. And while I wouldn’t exactly put Twitter followers in the same category as friends (except for a handful, at least in my case), I think that there is an art to it that can work across many platforms.

To Godin’s tips I’d add the following:

• Remember that the relationship comes first. You may be excited, ambitious and ready for rocketing growth, but keep in mind that your female friendships are multi-faceted. You can’t talk business all the time. That’d be boring, and your social invitations will dwindle as a result. Keep on being a great friend, listening and asking questions about what’s happening in her life.
• Instead of an all-out sales pitch when you meet for coffee, plant subtle seeds. If — and only if — an opportunity arises in your conversation to mention something (anything) related to your business, then by all means do so. But limit yourself. If your friend doesn’t turn it around and ask a question related to your business, then leave it for another day. The seeds you’ve sown are likely to sprout when you least expect it.
• If you’re in a business that’s built on selling directly to friends (i.e. Pampered Chef, Arbonne, Avon, etc.), tread carefully. There are boatloads of people who are leery of this business model — myself included. But I also respect that millions of people make a living this way. In my opinion, the trick is to be transparent, first and foremost. If you’re putting together a “makeover party” designed to interest your friends in buying some makeup, please do us all a favor and say so. Don’t tell me you’re “just getting some girls together” and want me to join you. When I find out later that it’s a business thing, I’ll be even less receptive to buying from you than I already was. (Gee, can you tell I’ve had this very experience? But I’m not bitter. I am NOT!)
• Craft your copy with your girlfriends in mind. Say you’re putting together an email for friends and family, letting them in on an unbelievable special offer. I’d recommend a super-honest, even self-deprecatory approach in how you write it. So instead of “Act now on this limited time offer for family & friends!!!!!!”, I’d tone it WAY down and say something like, “Hi, you guys. You’d have to be living under a rock to not know that I sell XYZ Product for a living. And I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support on this from the beginning. It’s wonderful to know that my friends care about me enough to consider buying from me! Here’s a little promotion I put together just for you guys — but I don’t want you to feel ANY pressure to buy anything. It’s just there for you to use if you were already planning to purchase, okay? Thanks for your time… I love you all and look forward to catching up soon!”

How do you feel about your friends selling to you? How do you handle this delicate balance? What tips could you add to my list? I’d love to hear from you!

I have a feeling I’m not alone in this sea of irony. See if you can relate:

• I was over the moon when we finagled a free DVR from our satellite TV provider — and now I gleefully fast-forward through the commercials when I want to watch my favorite shows (I’m admittedly a rabid fan of The Office, 30 Rock and Medium).
• When the Do Not Call list first came into existence, I was an evangelist, spreading the word among my colleagues, friends and family, even signing up my grandparents without internet access.
• I even joined GreenDimes, an organization dedicated to stopping junk mail and saving our natural resources, and gave the gift of their services to several of my loved ones.

What’s up with that? Oh, it’s only the biggest shift in marketing we’ve ever seen.

As one of the participants in Allison Nazarian’s fantastically informative, five-week marketing teleseminar series (featuring 20 experts in a variety of social media-related fields), I listened to Dave Evans, author of Social Media Marketing: An Hour a Day, as he described his own journey into social media-based marketing. He, too, found it ironic that in his personal time he utilized all available tools to deflect advertising messages. He started to wonder, “If we couldn’t interrupt people, how would we reach them?” That, among other events, led to his publication of a white paper on the rise of Web 2.0 technology, and ultimately to his career as a social media consultant.

Evans points out that traditional marketing views consumers’ attention as an unlimited resource. Traditional marketers compete for attention in an ongoing struggle to “break through the clutter” and to control or drive business. Problem is, just how much attention can we pay when we’re inundated with thousands upon thousands of messages (aka interruptions) daily?

With social media-based marketing, on the other hand, we view consumers’ attention as limited even as we realize their choices for information are unlimited. We know that prospects won’t sit through unwelcome interruptions that don’t interest them. Instead, they fast-forward, blog, Digg, write and share product reviews, upload video, bookmark and follow. Or un-foll0w.

So what’s a marketer to do when all the rules are changing?

As Evans says, instead of “driving” prospects into that golden purchase funnel, our tactics must necessarily shift — toward participation in social media, as a peer. Toward listening, and then engaging with potential customers in meaningful, two-way communication. (All in a way that’s completely transparent — Evans emphasizes that you must disclose your true identity as a brand ambassador.) And according to Evans, these new behaviors can actually serve to “amplify” your traditional marketing efforts.

All of which reminds me of what I’ve read in Groundswell: Winning in a World Transformed by Social Technologies (by Charlene Li and Josh Bernoff of Forrester Research). They define the “groundswell,” or the new behavior surrounding Web 2.0, as:

A social trend in which people use technologies to get the things they need from each other, rather than from traditional institutions like corporations.

Great food for thought as you execute your promotion plans in 2009. I think this is an extremely exciting time to be in marketing, don’t you? How do you plan to turn your prospects into customers? Better yet, how will you turn your customers into over-the-top evangelists for your brand?

Photo courtesy blogs.courant.com

First, I came across a wildly popular post from superblogger Jessica Knows, “A Call to Ambitious Women Entrepreneurs… Stop Apologizing.” In it, she points out a nasty habit so many of us have — apologizing for our successes, or for daring to promote ourselves. She urges women to join her in pledging to, well… just QUIT it — and instead celebrate our successes. Love this!

Then came social media maven Julie Roads’ take on the subject, “You have the right NOT to remain silent about how cool you are,” and her new, private Google group designed to be an interactive bragging “journal” of sorts for the women who belong to it. (I am a lucky new member who’s learning to proudly toot her own horn. Thanks, Julie!)

So, as a woman entrepreneur conditioned since birth not to EVER engage in the practice of bragging (except maybe in life-threatening emergencies or with your grandparents), I have to admit the idea made me darn uncomfortable at first. My initial “brag” to the Google group was tentative and a little self-conscious. But, judging by all the supportive, atta-girl networking that’s beginning to happen, I can already feel my brag-shackles beginning to loosen. (Uh-oh… look out!)

This process has also made me think about the art of bragging in business. (Turns out there IS a way to do it without alienating everyone you come in contact with!) Whether you’re networking to promote yourself, your products or services — in my opinion, it’s all in how (and when and where) you do it. Nuances.

1. Consider your audience. In our brag group, we’ve all promised to make it a safe, judgment-free place. Come to brag, and appreciate the brags of others without worry. It’s freeing, and it’s great! In real life, though — however much we may want to change this — it’s different. Whether it’s a colleague, client, Twitter friend or prospect, do you have a relationship with the person you’re speaking to? If not, take a little time to get to know him/her. Ask some questions, listen and respond to their answers. Let the conversation open the door for a little horn-tooting, rather than jimmying it open yourself and trumpeting right from the get-go.
2. Consider the situation. If you’re in the middle of a new business pitch or writing your new website, then by all means, brag away. Knock yourself out — it’s expected, and even necessary, as we all struggle to compete in a dog-eat-dog world. But if you run into a prospect while he’s enjoying a weekend excursion with his family (or Twittering with pals about the Super Bowl), think twice before launching into your most-bragalicious elevator speech.
3. Make it reciprocal. Appreciate that everyone has successes and talents to share. Find out what others do well, show them you’re genuinely interested and congratulate them on it. This is one of those “basics” that I think holds true across all forms of human interaction — from face-to-face yakety-yakking to the myriad online social networking vehicles now available to us.

Okay, maybe this list seems a little basic to you — and it is. But believe me, I have seen hoardes of people ignoring (or just ignorant of) these guidelines. My reaction to them? Unfollow, or end the conversation quickly and move on.

What do you think about bragging for business gain? How do you promote yourself with finesse, without turning people off?