The idea of bragging has made its way into my consciousness over the past couple of weeks. You know, bragging? Unabashedly telling people about your latest achievements or finest attributes without so much as a cringe or a reddening of the cheeks? Here’s why bragging is on my mind:
Photo courtesy blogs.courant.com
First, I came across a wildly popular post from superblogger Jessica Knows, “A Call to Ambitious Women Entrepreneurs… Stop Apologizing.” In it, she points out a nasty habit so many of us have — apologizing for our successes, or for daring to promote ourselves. She urges women to join her in pledging to, well… just QUIT it — and instead celebrate our successes. Love this!
Then came social media maven Julie Roads’ take on the subject, “You have the right NOT to remain silent about how cool you are,” and her new, private Google group designed to be an interactive bragging “journal” of sorts for the women who belong to it. (I am a lucky new member who’s learning to proudly toot her own horn. Thanks, Julie!)
So, as a woman entrepreneur conditioned since birth not to EVER engage in the practice of bragging (except maybe in life-threatening emergencies or with your grandparents), I have to admit the idea made me darn uncomfortable at first. My initial “brag” to the Google group was tentative and a little self-conscious. But, judging by all the supportive, atta-girl networking that’s beginning to happen, I can already feel my brag-shackles beginning to loosen. (Uh-oh… look out!)
This process has also made me think about the art of bragging in business. (Turns out there IS a way to do it without alienating everyone you come in contact with!) Whether you’re networking to promote yourself, your products or services — in my opinion, it’s all in how (and when and where) you do it. Nuances.
- Consider your audience. In our brag group, we’ve all promised to make it a safe, judgment-free place. Come to brag, and appreciate the brags of others without worry. It’s freeing, and it’s great! In real life, though — however much we may want to change this — it’s different. Whether it’s a colleague, client, Twitter friend or prospect, do you have a relationship with the person you’re speaking to? If not, take a little time to get to know him/her. Ask some questions, listen and respond to their answers. Let the conversation open the door for a little horn-tooting, rather than jimmying it open yourself and trumpeting right from the get-go.
- Consider the situation. If you’re in the middle of a new business pitch or writing your new website, then by all means, brag away. Knock yourself out — it’s expected, and even necessary, as we all struggle to compete in a dog-eat-dog world. But if you run into a prospect while he’s enjoying a weekend excursion with his family (or Twittering with pals about the Super Bowl), think twice before launching into your most-bragalicious elevator speech.
- Make it reciprocal. Appreciate that everyone has successes and talents to share. Find out what others do well, show them you’re genuinely interested and congratulate them on it. This is one of those “basics” that I think holds true across all forms of human interaction — from face-to-face yakety-yakking to the myriad online social networking vehicles now available to us.
Okay, maybe this list seems a little basic to you — and it is. But believe me, I have seen hoardes of people ignoring (or just ignorant of) these guidelines. My reaction to them? Unfollow, or end the conversation quickly and move on.
What do you think about bragging for business gain? How do you promote yourself with finesse, without turning people off?
Bragging is definitely an art. One that some are better at than others – but one of the best ways to brag is to use other people’s words – testimonials. You see, when you say it, it’s just bragging, when someone else says, people stop and listen – and more importantly they believe it. So as much as possible, say what you want to say about yourself, but add testimonials every where you can (and it helps if they aren’t from your Grandparents).
I’m pretty new to reading your words – just found you in the last 24 hours through Jessica Knows and Julie Roads on Twitter. But for what it’s worth, you have a keen insight and people will sit up and listen. Keep it up.
Thanks so much for your kind comments. Your analogy reminds me of how I describe the difference between PR and advertising — it’s an ad if YOU say how great you are, and it’s PR if someone else says you’re great!
And yes, testimonials are a powerful way to communicate benefits. Great point!
Good for you! I have no clue how to do this. I prefer to self-efface and support others. But that sure hasn’t helped me in the business world!
Let us know all the wonderful insights you gain.